Happy new ...

Am I the only person at work today? It felt like it this morning when I sat in a District Line carriage at Wimbledon all by myself waiting to leave.



I was sat on a City bound train waiting to leave this morning (having just missed a previous City bound one by a couple of seconds) as the board marked it as the next train out. But then an Edgware Road train came in on the far platform, and then promptly left again (with passengers) before my train did. Great!



Then I get to Earl's Court to discover that no Olympia trains are running this week due to bridge repairs, so I end up waiting for the next Edgware Round bound train anyway. It comes in (it's 'C' stock style train), but the board says it's going to Barking! "Oh no it's not" I think to myself, and it's only at the last minute that there is an announcement that it is in fact going to Edgware Road, and not everyone hears it, or pays attention - so at the next stop (High St. Ken) loads of people look up from their papers and think "Eh?", and get off wondering why they've come the wrong way.



Sssseeshhh... and no wonder people moan about the tube.

Get snapping

We're all living in a Tube map



Interesting title for an interesting project. Jon Allen sent me an email this morning on a feature in Metro encouraging us to take pictures around tube stations that we don't normally visit - "Sometimes it takes a foreigner to help the locals see the obvious and everyday with new vision" or blogs for that matter - I can't really imagine any more widespread medium that gets people to navel gaze at their own lives or areas and then get other people interested in that navel gazing by return.



Anyway Astrid Kirchner originally from Austria but now living in London has built a website - tubemap.org where people can upload photos of an area around a station in an effort to "share the discovery you make. It's good to try and capture an area - it makes you concentrate on it. This is about filling in the gaps between the stations".



There's not many stations on there at the moment but I'm sure with the many digital cameras people got at Xmas it will fill up soon.



By the way, big thanks to my brother for my new digital camera - you should see more piccies on this blog in the future.

Where's your camera when you need it?

Santa Driver



Out last night with Geoff n Neil and Chris and Stephen (and as Neil mentioned in the comments, the Mind the Gap thong wasn't thrown into our Confidentially Clause bag - although there were London Underground tattoos, a Mind the Gap T Towel, a tiny tin of tea with the tube map on it, a Jubilee Line book and some shot glasses). A good time was had by all, although both me and Neil were suffering from colds.



After some bevvies, grub and quite a bit of tube talk, we found ourselves on our way to the BBC (don't ask) on the Westbound Metropolitan Line from Baker Street and it appeared that at least one driver in London had some Xmas spirit and wasn't thinking about the latest thing to strike about. He was wearing a jaunty little Santa hat, Geoff waved and pointed "Santa" and the Santa driver waved back.



None of us had our cameras to hand and Geoff spent some time at Edgware Road, where the train always stops for an age, wondering if he had time to leg it to the front to take a piccy, by the time he decided he didn't, our festive driver had nipped off the train, presumably to find Rudolph, and was replaced by another less red hatted driver.



Anyway, hope you all have a fantastic Xmas and a great New Year, which hopefully will be even better now the New Year's Eve strike has been called off as LU staff are now at the "at the top of the industry pay league in Britain" as RMT Union leader Bob Crowe smugly said, each time I watched the news. Lucky bastards.

Strikes still on

Driving home for Xmas



Well the Piccadilly Line drivers won't be driving you home for Xmas tomorrow as that 24 hour strike is still on for Xmas Eve, although apparently a tube service to Heathrow will run every eight minutes.



According to The Standard: "LU said there are "behind the scenes moves" taking place today to try and prevent tomorrow's strike.



"Steve Grant, Aslef London district secretary, said: "There are no new meetings planned for today and as far as we are concerned tomorrow's strike is going ahead."



Fantastic. I'm sorry but I really have no sympathy for this strike. If a driver travels through red signals several times surely he deserves to be demoted not have all his mates striking in protest.



Also the whole network looks like it will be down on New Year's Eve still too.



In the meantime me, Geoff and Neil are having Xmas bevvies tonight with their friends Chris and Stephen. We're doing a Secret Santa or "Confidentially Clause" as Geoff and Frank Skinner now call it and apparently there's a Mind The Gap thong in the mix. I got one as a leaving pressie and there's only so many Mind The Gap thongs a gal can have so I'm really hoping one of the guys gets it.

Festive London Underground Strikes

No signs of them being called off yet



I hadn't reported on the potential tube strike (by the RMT) for New Year's Eve as I was hoping it was going to be averted, but talks yesterday ended with no agreement. I'm sure tube staff who read this blog know where they stand, but there's been a whole round of letters in Metro over the last few days from people getting a tad fed up with all the strike threats. One from the sister of a tube worker who was anti strike and his New Year's Eve plans are going to be cocked up too.



More doom and gloom as there's another set of strikes planned by Aslef on the Piccadilly Line for Xmas Eve and January 5th. Another Metro letter writer summed up very briefly what that potential action is about:



"Let me get this straight - London's public transport will once again grind to a halt because: a) a staff member who made a life-threatening mistake four times was demoted; b) someone doesn't like where they drink their tea; and c) after agreeing to more than eight weeks of holiday, one of the unions is upset that someone else got ten weeks."



So I don't know whether they're all still taking place or not - very confused. The BBC seem to sum up the whole strike situation the best and I'll try to keep you updated.



Oh and you may well be one of the commuters going on strike on Monday (yes, yes, I did say commuters) - although I can't see that really taking off, but you never know.

Mobile Phone Users on the Tube

Is it your pet hate?



I'm not sure where I stand on loud mobile phone users on the tube. They used to drive me mad and made it into my etiquette page what seems like donkeys years ago, but I must becoming more tolerant in my old age. Probably because I may be a culprit myself. But Coudal Partners and Aaron Draplin have designed a whole load of stickers which you can download and pass on to the offenders







Like some of the commenters I don't like the use of "Yer" as in "Everyone is forced to listen to yer conversation", but otherwise the Society for Hand Held Hushing or SHHH could certainly take off.



Cheers to Ralf - The Cartoonist for bringing this to my attention.

Confusing Tourists again

Yahoo posters



Nice spot from Thisisn't London:



"I was working in Epping today (argh). On my way home I spotted one of those Yahoo "Found" posters, with a purple arrow, that you occasionally put on your site; it said "Theydon Bois", the next station along the line.



The funny thing is, it was pointing in the wrong direction!



I took a (crap) photo on my phone, but the story is entertaining enough without it. And the poster has been seen by thousands of Eppingites."



Come on Yahoo poster putter up guys, at least get the direction right.







I've been trying to get a picture of the one at Bank station pointing to Shadwell for ages and at least that is going in the right direction. But I must apologise for the lack of piccies from me recently. I have a new digital camera on my Xmas list as my current one is knackered. If anyone has any recommendations for small pocket sized one let me know - must have a microphone on it so that I can tape the buskers in the Waterloo and Shitty Line interchange.

Olympic Train-ing (geddit??!!)

I'm sure Annie won't mind two posts in one day especially as firstly, I haven't posted for a while and secondly, there are cool pictures below!



Yes, it appears that Ken has decided to push the 2012 Olympic bid down our throats even more than before by commissioning a C-Stock train and painting each carriage in different colours. Further, he's replaced all the seats with new yellow ones (which should be nice and dirty by the time the winner is announced) which have "Back The Bid" printed on them and a text number. Finally, in case you hadn't noticed that we're bidding for the 2012 Olympics, they've replaced all the cardboard overhead ads with Back The Bid ones and stuck "Back the Bid" stickers to the insides of the windows.



I wouldn't be at all surprised if LU had instructed the drivers of this train to make annnouncements such as "Good morning ladies and gentlemen. We are now arriving at Edgware Road where this train terminates. All change please. Upon leaving the train please take a good look around at all the publicity for the Olympic bid and text your support to the number printed on the seats."



I had the pleasure (?) of travelling on this train on Saturday evening and I'd seen it earlier in the day at Edgware Road where the outside picture was taken. If you want to see the colours of the other carriages then worry not - I took a video of it leaving the station on my camera and Geoff has kindly hosted it on his website:



Click here to see how your council tax is being spent

A chill in the air

Winter's here! And it's officially cold. And just last week as I sat waiting for my District Line train to leave at 08.30 in the morning, and the wind and the cold swept though the train, I cursed London Underground for having trains with four open doors on the side.



Well not so this morning! I've never seen this before, and wondered if this is a new practice they've started doing, but the two trains waiting to leave Wimbledon this morning had just ONE set of doors (out of the four) on each carriage open, meaning that it was distincly less chilly as you waited for your departure! Is that a good idea or what?



When the train came to leave though, all the doors had to momentarily open before 'beeping' shut, but I just thought I'd say "nice one" to LU for doing that because it's such a simple and yet effective thing to do.



Now - Has anybody seen that Olympic coloured customised Circle Line train that's going round . . . Neil?

Circle Line worst commuting route

It's official



Surveys carried out by private companies are always a bit dubious and are usually done so they can drum up a bit of PR for themselves. Well today's survey from cheapflights.co.uk (published in The Standard) asked 1,000 people at key commuter spots to vote on the most horrendous commuter routes in London, including travel by road, rail, Tube and bus. The Circle Line won hands down - for its constant stops between stops ("mysterious halts in the no man's land between stations") and the bumpy ride. The Jubilee Line came fourth and there were a couple of bus routes from Waterloo which I can certainly vouch for. If you want to check out the full top ten terrors here you go.



With a question designed to bring no surprises with its answer commuters were also asked how they pass the time "reading a paper or book was the most popular option, followed by daydreaming about their next holiday (Oh quelle surprise the survey was sponsored by cheapflights.co.uk, remember), texting or phoning a friend, deciding what to do at the weekend or planning the day's work".



Let's hope they weren't reading a book or paper while travelling on the A1 between the North Circular (A406) and Junction 2 of the M1 (number two on the crap commuting routes).

Party, party, party

UK Webloggers Party tomorrow - 11th December



That time of year again - it's the end of Year Party for anyone with a blog (plus various hangers on, I'm sure). Yes it's in London, (as we all know the UK revolves around London), but there is talk of more parties being organised in Birmingham and even further north. I'll definitely be there. Geoff is still thinking about it. Neil has been silent on it. But there's a list of people who will be coming and details about where it is and what time it starts on the following site.



Don't worry if you feel you're not going to know anyone, as there's probably names on the list where you've been reading about their lives for the past year or so, so you do know them anyway. Lots of commenters and regular visitors to this blog will be there - including Jag, Jack from GreenFairy, Ann from Pixel Diva, Tom from Random Acts of Reality, The Funjunkie Crew, This isn't London, The Londonist and James from Oddblog.



So may well see you there and to regulars who can't now come (you know who you are), hope to see you at some other blogmeet.

It's a Wonderful District Life

Annie's great "Drivers announcements" was one of the first things that got me to this site, but I have to say that I've never actually been on a train where the driver was jolly enough to announce silly things - until yesterday morning.



Coming up the District Line from Wimbledon again on a completely packed train, the driver thought he'd have some fun by announcing at Parsons Green:



"Well as you can see now ladies and gentlemen, the train is completely full, so if anyone at Fulham Broadway is going to get on you're going to have to huddle together just that little bit more aren't you?"



And when we got to Fulham Broadway and some more people did manage to squeeze on, he came out with:



"Now I know you're all squashed together back there, but it's a cold day so at least you're all keeping each other warm"



At West Brompton, where he knew he was going to be held at a signal for a while:



"This is West Brompton, just one tantalisingly short stop away from Earl's Court which is where I expect most of you want to go, but instead we've got to sit here for a minute. When the doors do eventually close please don't get any of your body parts stuck in the door"



And eventually, as we approached Earl's Court, he announced:



"We are now approaching Earl's Court where you can if you want change for the Piccadilly Line. Or why not change to another wonderful District Line service? The District Line is marvellous isn't it! Or you can stay on my train, where I'll have the pleasure of taking you up towards Edgware Road."



On a cold Wednesday morning, on a packed train, he caused many people to look up from their 'Metros' and smile. Nice one!

Spare Tube Parts being bought on Ebay

Too early (or late) for an April Fool



Geoff sent me a link today about a story in today's Standard saying that Tube bosses are having to buy spare parts for the Northern Line from ebay. Anyone travelling on the Northern Line this morning will know that it was generally cocked up due to problems with aging cab radio systems.



But ebay????? Sounds like a major cut back. If people now know the bits and bobs they were selling on ebay had the potential to mess up hundreds of thousands of commuters journeys they could have a field day. Forget internet hacking and viruses you could just sell spare parts of the tube at sky high prices.



A dot matrix indicator is currently going for about �180 and I assuming that it's the components that the Tube are after rather than the sign itself, otherwise we might be seeing - "Sale Now On" or "Half Price Bargains" rather than the usual "Ealing Bdwy - 13 mins"







Check out the full story here.

I heard a rumour ...

Just summating some information that came my way today, as I do like a good bit of gossip. I can't reveal my sources, (or rather my source wouldn't reveal their source) except to say that, as far as I know this all true ...



There is a distant plan that the District Line will not run to Ealing Broadway any more - services would be taken over by Piccadilly Line trains instead. The District Line would then run up to Rayners Lane instead, the aim being to segregate sub-surface and deep-level lines.



The Jubilee line could start a peak-hour service back to Charing Cross station again, until the whole of the Jubilee line is re-signalled, getting it to the spec that the JLE should have been built to in the first place, rather than done on the cheap as it was. There's also discussions currently taking place that westbound trains will not stop at London Bridge during the morning peak.



The Nothern Line was proved statistically to have run better when it operated as two seperate lines after the Camden Town derailment. It could be split permamently into two lines.



And with Chiltern trains wanting to run a 'Metro' style service to Amersham within a few years and having also offered to completely rebuild West Hampstead station to include Metropolitan, Jubilee and mainline platforms, stations north of Moor Park (except Watford) could end up being run by Chiltern instead. The Metropolitain line may drop its connection at Finchley Road in favour of West Hampstead. Only peak time Metropolitan serices would run south beyond Baker Street.



There, that's all I know.. take it or leave it at your own desire!

It's Christmas Time, there's no need to be afraid....

Unless you're on the Tube



When I was going through Waterloo station on Friday I noticed what I thought was the usual "Let's be careful out there" poster about watching how much you've been drinking when you travel on the tube. But they'd gone one step further and had said there were 29 drink related incidents at that station last Christmas.



I actually thought that was quite a low number, but after searching around on the net it appears to be the highest



"Waterloo tube station comes top of a "list of shame" for incidents involving drunk and abusive passengers at Christmas, with London Bridge not far behind."



Overall there were 406 drink related incidents last year and unfortunately one of them included a death. So if you see one of the posters saying how many drunken incidents were at your station, you'll know it was one of the worst, and extra police will be patrolling the station to keep an eye on drunken revellers.



Check out SE1 for more on the figures.







By the way, the above poster isn't me after a few drinks, it's a nice little effect to show what the escalators look like when you've had some bevvies.

Still here, still commuting

Just when you were thinking Annie had got shot of us and neither Geoff or Neil has put in an appearance for a while, I'd like to confirm that we ARE still here! In fact, I've been spotting loads of things all over the tube for the last two weeks, but just haven't been reporting on them - oops!



But here's my favourite from the last week - it's at Notting Hill Gate (again) where I seem to spend half my life waiting for Wimbledon bound trains these days.



It's an advert/poster at which you can point your mobile phone at (with the infrared turned on) and it'll send you a business card with the LU travel number in it! Is that cool or what? You see that little red blob in the poster? That's what sends out the IR business card. It worked on my Nokia - presume it will work with most other major phone manufacturers - try it, it's on the southbound platform at NHG, but I guess might also be at other stations around the system!









Also saw something quite scary coming up the District Line this morning - the train was 100% full, absolutely heaving - people unable to get on - that sort of thing, when at Fulham Broadway, some people wanted to get off, so a guy by the doors stepped back to let them off - and promptly stepped down the gap between the train and the platform! He yelled out, a nearby woman screamed, and a couple of other people rushed to his aid and pulled him back up again - it was quite a scary moment and felt the need to mention it.

Coughs and Sneezes

Keeping Healthy on the Tube



I have got the beginnings of a cold coming which isn't surprising it's really cold at the moment. When I was on the Piccadilly Line a couple of days ago I'm sure the heating wasn't on, it was freezing. But now my only days of really being in a cold ridden scrum with other sniffling, coughing and sneezing commuters is going home on the Drain (Waterloo & City Line).



Thereisnospoon however kindly sent me a link to a feature on the BBC about how bugs are spread on public transport.



"BBC News has learnt the Rail Safety Standards Board is investigating the impact of overcrowding on trains and the Tube, including how much passengers share bugs.



No scientific research has yet been done on this but experts in virology believe poor ventilation and a lack of space can make some forms of public transport a fertile breeding ground. However there is a strong argument this fear may be over-hyped."



No surprises really but interesting that the Standards Board is looking into it.



"The London Underground must be an absolute goldmine for viruses trying to find someone to spread to because it's so packed," says Dr Rosy McNaught, a consultant in communicable disease control for Sheffield.



"The closer people are packed together and poorer the ventilation, the more likely people close to you will get a face full of it when you sneeze."



Nice.



Luckily there is some hope though and the article gives some sneezing and coughing etiquette and also recommends "avoiding cramped spaces" when travelling (yeah right) and sound advice about washing your hands when you get to work or home.



Was also encouraging to read "The Health Protection Agency says there is no indication that passengers in London and the South East - where public transport is more crowded - suffer more respiratory illnesses than other parts of the UK."



Check out the full article here with comments from commuters at the bottom including my favourite: "I can't believe there really are people being paid good money to make a study of this nature. I am not a doctor or a scientist but I can see that any germ will spread among a load of people crammed into an unventilated bus or train."

Take two announcers

Compare and contrast



Coming home on the DLR yesterday (I only take it one stop, but it really is a bloody civilised way to travel and if you sit at the front of the train you can pretend you're driving it - there are no real drivers), my very polite guard/person who opens the doors (what are people on the DLR called?) said:



"Thank you for travelling with us today. We are now at Bank and I'd like to wish you a safe onward journey on your way home. Have a nice evening".



DVBoy sent me an email where he heard the following at Warren Street station saying that Piccadilly Circus was closed "cos of a fire alarm or summink".



It's like comparing Vicky Pollard to Joanna Lumley.

Oval Thinkers in Metro

Tao and the Art of Tubing



After all the stressful thoughts of yesterday, it was nice to see Tuesday's Metro reporting on the guys at Oval station with their "Thoughts of the Day". This station was first brought to my attention a few months ago and there's a site which shows all of the "thoughts" which appear at Oval station.







The motivations behind the station assistants were to improve relations between staff and passengers, and they were very surprised at the positive reaction they got.



�It�s a break in that routine which everyone gets into, of rushing into the Tube and ignoring everything around them. It�s unexpected and catches them by surprise.



�No one has ever said they don�t like it. We get at least three good comments a day. One woman regularly takes a photo of it with her phone and sends it to her husband.



�We�ve made so many friends through it. People come up and speak to us. Without the �Thought of the Day�, we would not have had that interaction. People look for it now. We never expected this sort of reaction.



�It works both ways - it shows customers that staff are not faceless and vice versa. It says we do care about how they feel about travelling on the Underground. And we care about how they feel about us.�



Nice one guys. But I wonder now that they've had fame through Metro whether the posts will change or become wackier? At the moment they come from the ancient Chinese Taoist philosopher Lao Tzu. Perhaps they'll become more widespread across the system. One can only hope.

We're more stressed than fighter pilots

Do you get commuter amnesia?



Don't know about commuting but Blogger's been stressing me out lately very, very slow to load posts. Anyway, there's been another one of those studies released today which shows how commuting is really stressful



"Stress expert Dr David Lewis compared the heart rate and blood pressure of 125 commuters with those of pilots and police officers in training exercises.



"The study, part-funded by technology firm Hewlett Packard, found the stress levels of commuters were higher in extreme circumstances.



"Workers' stress is exacerbated by their inability to control their situation."



I'm very lucky with my morning commute of not having to get into work that early so I do miss the bulk of the crowds going in, although rush hour at night gets later and later so I face the scrum like everyone else. I do try to turn off when stuck in tunnels or facing boards saying 10 minutes till your next train, but you can always see people getting fairly frustrated.



"Dr Lewis, who measured the stress levels of the commuters for five years, has identified a syndrome he calls "commuter amnesia", where people forget large parts of their journey because of stress.



"The survey suggests an average commute is between 45-60 minutes," he said.



"That is at least a working day a week that you are losing completely out of your life.



"Switching off the mind, turning people into zombies for 90 minutes, seems to me a quite appalling waste of talent."



Too right. To read more of this story check out the BBC's site.

Talking on the Tube

The Rabbit has the right idea



Euan from The Londonist has just created a cool little flash animation which reminds you why you don't talk to random people on the tube.







It's not just Londoners being miserable. It's that the chances are that the first person you speak to will turn out being someone who was just too mad to make it into Little Britain.

52 day holiday for Tube Staff

No wonder they have so many applicants



That's it, now I know why so many people (including one of our very own co-writers) apply to work on the Tube. Where else can you get a 52 day holiday just because you work vaguely unsociable hours? Just so that we can run a tube service on New Year's Eve, there's been an agreement between the RMT and London Underground for a 35 hour week. Technically it remains a 37.5 hour week but two and half days can be "banked" towards more days off.



Well at least we will be having tubes running all night on New Year's Eve, no strike (which was being muttered about earlier) and apparently it's also paving the way for later trains on Friday and Saturday Evening.



On the front page of today's Metro, Roger Evans, the Conservative's Transport spokesman was outraged by the deal and called it "an insult to every hardworking Londoner. Yet again are we seeing the unions holding the capital to ransom. They know the threat of strikes always pays off. The answer is to ban strikes on the Underground." For a fuller report check out The Scotsman.



I know we get a fair few Tube staff who read this blog and I'd be really keen to get their comments. Come on "thereisnospoon" where are you?



As Quin just noted in the comments in the previous post there is another poll in The Standard asking whether tube staff deserve 52 days holiday a year - currently it's massively in favour. Wonder how many tube staff voted?



I'll leave you with today's Oval Tube station thought which is kind of appropriate

Late Tube or Not Late Tube....

That is the question



Big news everywhere is that today Sheriff Ken announced plans that the Tube may well be staying open later at night from central London on Fridays and Saturdays (1.30am for the last tube) but it will mean opening an hour later the following mornings. That would definitely have my vote, as I have lost count of the times when I've had to leave somewhere at 11.30pm or earlier on Sundays just to get home.



According to the Standard "Market research published by the Mayor's newsletter, The Londoner, claims 140,000 extra passengers would use the late service. If the Tube ran later into the night, trains would have to start an hour later the next morning to allow essential maintenance to be carried out."



I would have thought hardly anyone travelled early on Saturday and Sunday mornings (possibly people who missed their last train the night before and decided to make a whole night/morning of it) but I'm wrong as surveys show that 55,000 catch those early morning milk trains, with almost 60% travelling to and from work (so perhaps the other 40% are people travelling from the night before).



Ken said "We want Londoners to be aware of the advantages and disadvantages of running the Tube later and we want to hear their views before a final decision is made."



Apparently we're going to be polled over the coming months and if the vote goes through the service will change in late 2006.



There's an online vote on The Standard, where, not surprisingly, it's way in favour of extending the hours. I should imagine a fair few mini cab and taxi drivers will be voting against this in their droves.

Blog in the USA

From across the Pond



Just a quick hi if you came across this blog from an article on the CNN Money website of all places. They feature a number of websites that "offer information and diversions that can ease the pain of your daily slog." and for some inexplicable reason spend the end of the article on this blog - "Across the pond, Webmaster Annie Mole operates "Going Underground", a daily blog on the London Underground where posters ponder such mysteries as how seven stops and one change can be faster than two stops and one change."



Quite nice being the only site about the Tube on it.



In the article I really liked the site on carpooling (or slugging) etiquette as it was very similar to our tube etiquette in a number of ways. Slugs do not talk, they don't use their mobile phones for more than a short while, any time they do talk religion and politics are avoided and there's no smoking or eating by the driver or slug.



Perhaps people on really long Tube journeys should start tubepooling (or slogging). You could agree to actually properly share the journey with the people who get in the tube with you everyday (you must see people who get on your carriage every day). So you could share copies of Metro or other newspapers, take turns at using a seat if there's only one available, or even sit on each other's laps.



I think it could catch on.

A Good Service

What's the most infuriating thing when trying to travel on the tube? I reckon it's being told that there is "A good service - operating on all lines" when clearly there's not. What defines "Good service" anyway?



Good service was not happening (despite being told so) on the Bakerloo line this morning at Waterloo, where the first three trains were all going to Queens Park, at blank, blank and blank minutes time. In the end, the first train came up being 1 minute away, which then took 4 minutes to arrive.



I probably wouldn't have minded, but upon getting to Oxford Circus and being told that there was "A good service on all lines", the first westbound train was 5 minutes away, which - 7 minutes later was then showing "3 minutes". 3 minutes later, it was STILL showing "3 minutes" when the train pulled in and left - the indicator board sitll showing that it was "3 minutes" away, and the PA still announcing "A good service on all lines this morning".



And whilst I'm in a ranty mood - can anyone tell me what the point is of the stickers that have now appeared in all tube carriages promoting the Olympics saying "Back the bid - text LONDON to 80125" (or whatever the number is) - and that's it!



No reason as to why you should do it, how it will help London's Olympic bid, or what you'll get back on your mobile phone when you do, or how much it will cost you .. so .. what's the point? Has anyone seen one of those stickers and then (whilst underground) thought "Ooh - I know, the minute I get out in the open I must text that number" - no, I thought not.



Right, I'm finished now.

Escalator Wobble

Too much time on their hands



Not quite sure why scientists at Imperial College have been doing this, but today Metro reported that they have got to the bottom of "broken escalator wobble". You know the sensation you get when you step onto an escalator that isn't working although you think it is and you lose your balance or get a bit dizzy. Apparently it's the conflict between what the brain knows is going to happen (no movement) and what it thinks is going to happen, based on previous experience (movement). We all speed up when approaching an escalator, so when it isn't moving we stumble.



The Professors at Imperial didn't test this on escalators though (although I'm sure they had plently of broken ones to choose from), but on sleds in a laboratory.

Tube Strike Threats

Only a matter of time



You know it's approaching Xmas and the New Year when the threat of tube strikes rear their ugly heads again. Apparently the Jubilee Line will be hit by 24 hour industrial action by Aslef on December 3rd and Christmas Eve, over a dispute with a depot manager. This is one of the network's busiest lines and is expected to cause a nightmare for around 450,000 people.



It's also possible that the District and Piccadilly Line drivers will walk out in separate rows over working conditions and the demotion of a fellow union member.



I'll keep you posted when the outcome of the ballots are announced later this week. Check out BBC News for more on this.

Today's Metro Momento

Railway Reads



Got into work in record time this morning (just over an hour) so with the various bits of legwork I have to do between stations I didn't have time to read more than Metro. Today they focussed on top tomes about the tube for Xmas stocking fillers (damn, though didn't include One Stop Short of Barking) - it did include what looks like being a fab book of subway photography "Underground: Travels on The Global Metro" by Marco Pesaresi.



He's an award winning Italian photographer who when he lived in London in the early 90's. His work had previously focussed on immigrants, drugs, prostitution and life on the edge - so naturally he became fascinated by the Tube. He then travelled to Milan and Berlin carried on taking subway pictures and ended up with a display of pictures of 10 major cities.







Pesaresi said "I wanted to explore the world, and most of all was in search of freedom. In every city I found a different story, but in each one I found a cosmopolitan society living underground. In this society, you could go anywhere. You could talk to everyone. (really) Everyone was equal. It felt to me a little like a parallel world where I began to feel free."



Not sure how much freedom I feel I have on the tube when squashed with City bods on the Waterloo and Shitty line, but I can kind of see what he means. Apparently there's a brill picture of a man, ascending the stairs at King�s Cross with red balloons flying from the handrail, looking like poppies and acting as remembrance of the tragic loss of life in the King�s Cross fire.



Deffo on my Xmas pressie list and it has an introduction by Francis Ford Coppola, how kewell.

Body Parts

Feet and balls



Still getting used to my new journey into town involving the Waterloo & City Line



(which incidentally was the answer to one of a set of tube questions on University Challenge earlier this week -



1. What 14 mile line includes parts of the Hammersmith and City,

District and Metropolitan Lines?

2. What 1.5 mile line with no stations connects Waterloo and Bank ?

3. Which underground line connects with all the others? - thanks to Jon Allen for letting us know this)



It's probably my imagination but Waterloo and City Line carriages seem really small and on the way into work - I'm usually lucky enough to get a seat but yesterday it meant that the trouser parts of a brown suited City gent were completely at eye level for me for my five minute journey. It's that awful moment where you know you should be looking elsewhere but your eyes get magnetically drawn back to spot where you shouldn't be looking - Oh well, better than having a train journey with a midget's bollocks in your lap.



On the way home on the DLR I was equally fascinated by a woman's particularly ugly long middle toes which looked like they were doing a V sign. Someone should tell her, she really shouldn't wear sandals ever - certainly not in the middle of November.

Why can't I get off at Oval Station?

These should be compulsory



Joanna Herman Oakley - kindly led me to the following brilliant pictures (via The Londonist from The Big Smoker's Euan and Rob) taken at Oval station where there's clearly some Zen station assistants around







There are others taken at the same station here going back to the 29th October. They rock.

Geoff n Neil are mad

How can seven stops & one change be faster than two stops & one change



Back in the UK where I faced the delights of a wet dark November day and a new job and new route to work (why, oh why can't I live in Goa - white sandy beaches, hot sun, mad Indians on motor bikes, no traffic lights, cattle in the road and no bloody tube).



Geoff and Neil assured me that it would be far quicker travelling from Waterloo to Shadwell by getting on the "fast" Jubilee Line to Canada Water and picking up the "new and efficient" East London Line, a couple of stops north to Shadwell. I personally thought Waterloo and Shitty Line to Bank - change on the the DLR and go one stop to Shadwell - sorted. And in fact that's what I did in the morning, it took about ten minutes. Coming home, I thought I would give the "tube experts" route a try, as they reckoned the time spent walking from Bank and DLR interchange would be the same as the extra stops involved.



They were wrong! The East London line was really smelly and crowded and stopped just before I needed to change, for no apparent reason apart from enjoying the view. The Jubilee Line was packed - I never realised so many people worked in the East End - it took about twenty minutes - remind me never to listen to them again.

More District Ramblings

Right, just a few more days blogging on my new route to work, and I'll have got it all out of my system, and i'll go all quiet again. In the meantime, more things that have occured to me:



Is it me or is Earl's Court station looking much nicer these days? The brand new lift that spans the two platforms is now in operation and looks very clean and modern - but the rest of Earl's Court this morning just 'felt' a lot cleaner and spacious than normal!



At High St. Ken, I've got a brand new game that I play each day going home now, and it's similar to Neil's infamous "Chocolate Challenge". It's.. "Can buy a copy of the Evening Standard in less than 20 seconds".



That's right.. annoyed that i didn't have a paper to read the other day, I realise i was towards the front of the train near the 'Grab-a-bite' kiosk that is on the southbound platform of HSK. It lines up with the rear of the first carriage, or the front of the second.. and it can be done.



Train pulls in, doors open - hand over your 40p, grab a copy of the 'Standard' and jump back on the train all within 20 seconds. The other day that I did it, I even managed to get my orginal seat back before anyone else pinched it - much to the amusment of the lady sitting opposite me. So try it, next time you're passing through...

I don't like Mondays ...

Take a gold star and go to the top of the class if you can tell me who had an early 80's hit with that song title (Answer at the bottom).



Had a first 'celeb' spot on the tube this morning for a while - well i say 'celeb' but it wasn't A-list, it was merely BBC Londons local TV news reader, Emily Maitlis sitting on an Edgware Road bound district line train that I was on this morning.



I hopped off at my usual changepoint of Notting Hill, and whilst waiting on the westbound platform, spotted something that I've never seen before. About halfway down are some grills/gates at the edge of the platform, that if you peer into you can see an old corridor, stairs going off somewhere, and on the side - this old poster.











It's an old Childrens Society poster, where the amount of money is still listed in shillings! Pre-decimal! So at least 1960's... it's been their 30 years. Cool.



And yet someone has stuck up some plastic folders and some sort of information sheet/notice over the top half of it! Wonder where the corridor goes to though ... Anyone know?



Oh, and it was the Boomtown Rats. Easy.

This 'n' that

Had to go to Goodge Steet this morning.. skipped down the escalator at Waterloo, then the steps - could 'hear' a train in the platform, and ran round the corner just as the doors closed. Damn! Next train: 9 minutes wait!



Eventually got to Goodge Street. Up the steps from the platform... to the lifts - just as the lift doors closed. Damn! Ran up the steps to keep myself fit, to watch the woman in front of me actually DO that thing with Oystercards that is often joked about but I've never seen. She had hers in the bottom of her handbag and simply palced her handbag on top of the reader, and the gates opened! Nice.



Talking of gates, I saw these at Canarfy Wharf the other week and took a picture of them.













They're a new design that I haven't seen before.. anyone seen any other instances of these new gates anywhere on the network? Just wondered.

Knots-in-hill gate

That's a terrible pun! Sorry. But you do feel like you could tie yourself in knots sometimes negotiating the corridors that LU want you to walk down, and this week we return to Notting Hill Gate.



Tell me - how much power has an LU employee got to stop you walking the 'wrong way' down a corridor? It's not breaking the law - is it a by-law? I don't think so .. so just because LU say "Not this way", or "No exit" doesn't mean that you can't, right?



Here's a (rapidly drawn) sketch of Notting Hill Gate as it was when I came through it this morning.







I changed from the District/Circle lines and was going down to the Central line platforms, so I was okay.



But if you're coming UP from the Central to go to the District/Circle, there is a 'rope barrier' (the green dotted line), where they make you take the much longer route of going up a second set of escalators, into the ticket hall area, and then down the steps to the D/C platforms. Why? When it's quicker to take the corridor that isn't blocked off (the red line being where there IS a gate to stop you) and get to the D/C platforms that way.



There was even a LU employee (brown blob) standing there looking menancing as if to tell you not to take the shorter, quicker route to the D/C platforms. So what would he do if you took it! Hold you back and restrain you? Maybe I should try it tomorrow morning and find out.



Obviously someone is going to come back and give me the 'safety' rant here, as it only happens during the morning peak, and say that it's 'good for passenger flow' (or something). Right?

Hammerscam

Beware of dodgey cash machine at tube stations! I just got this forwarded to me in an email this morning, and thought it was worth passing on ...



"Please be aware that gangs of criminals are targeting the cash machines on LUL premises. The pictures below were taken at Hammersmith Dist & Picc station on 21.10.04. The first picture details how the Barclays cash machine normally looks.



The criminals have been fitting portable card readers to the machines which clone the card details. The second picture details how the cash machine looks after the cloning device has been fitted with double sided tape."



Please ensure that all station staff are aware of this scam. If you become aware that a device has been fitted to a cash machine on LUL property, please contact the BTP immediately. Customers should be discouraged from using the machine until the arrival of the police. If the area is covered by CCTV the machine should also be monitored in order that those responsible are seen if they try to remove the device."

Err, what he said.

I'd also like to point out that I'm not actually living in London at the moment (temporary arrangement till the new year) so my tube stories are a bit thin on the ground.



However, if I could crave your indulgence for one post only, I'll go off topic and talk about something else - Wetherspoons.



Can someone please explain to me why Wetherspoons have merged their food menu with (or indeed changed it INTO) the Lloyds No. 1 menu which is rubbish?



Whereas before you had nice sizeable chips you've now got stringy things that stick together whilst cooking and go cold very quickly too. The switch to the Lloyds menu also means the Aberdeen Angus Pie has been removed and to be honest I consider this a disaster. Whenever I ate at Wetherspoons, it was usually the carbohydrate-laden, gravy-sodden pie which I ordered. But now they've deprived me of my very raison-d'etre vis-a-vis going there, I'm afraid I shall have to withdraw my custom.



Does anyone else feel as aghast as me at this needless change or is it just me being a stick-in-the-mud as usual?



(By the way, this post IS loosely tube-related. We went to the Penderel's Oak in Holborn to meet young Annie last week just after myself and Geoff had been running round on the tube - see the alternative tube challenges section of his his website).



Umm, here's a picture of me recreating one half of the Aldgate East picture from the Tube 7 attempt back in May (and not very well because it wasn't even the same sign and I'm standing on the other side of it and Geoff had to take the picture so he couldn't even be in it), just before we went of to Wetherhellhasmypiegone (geddit??!!) for dinner:

Disruption to service

Don't panic. We haven't gone on holiday with Annie (She didn't invite us .. tsk!), but we've just been too busy, er... catching the tube to remember to do the blog



Anyway, I'm sure Neil is about to post something up any moment now . . .

Bollox to all this, I'm off to Goa

Annie's winter break



I've not had a proper holiday in the sunshine this year and tomorrow am off to Goa for two weeks, so the blog will be left in the capable hands of Neil and Geoff. They've promised to do all the usual things like watering plants, making sure the post isn't piling up outside, keeping an eye out for men with stripy T shirts and bags with "swag" on them, etc etc.



I must also apologise if the blog has been taking an age to load for some of you. I've absolutely no idea why it is doing this. I emailed Blogger/Blogspot who weren't much help and I've left a message on the Yahoo Group for Blogspot - if anyone has any ideas as to the problem I'd really like to know, it's only been happening this week and nothing new has been added to the template, so it's a mystery to me.



Anyway, please be gentle with Geoff and Neil and I'll "see" you in November.

Tube profits soar - but by how much?

50 million quid or a 100 million quid



Depending on which paper you read (Evening Standard - �100 million) or which media you watch or listen too (BBC - �50 million), Tubelines & Metronet are making a fook or a lot of money whichever figure you believe.



I know it's slightly inane to say where is it all going - some fat cats pockets (the chief exec of Metronet gets paid �552,000 a year) - but have we really seen any major improvements to the tube since the public private partnership changes?



As far as I see on my journeys there are no extra trains, they're not particularly any more efficient.



"Tube Lines - (one of private maintenance firms) - announced it had its best quarter-year performance since it took over the lines.



But it added signal failures rose by almost 50% from 22 August to 18 September, compared with the same period in 2003."



And yet only last week Sheriff Ken Livingstone announced that Tube fares would have to go up over the next five years to help fund extra investment - D'OH, D'OH, D'OH

Today's Metro Momentos

Driver's announcements in Metro



Well it's only taken five years, but hurrah - the driver's announcements from goingunderground.net have made it into Metro, on the back of Mecca's book (D'OH - she had so better share her royalties with me). However, as sod's bloody law would have it the company that does my domain forwarding decided to go slow today and the forwarding has been down most of the morning - D'OH, D'OH, D'OH - anyway back up again now - so if you managed to find this blog through Metro after reading the announcements, welcome to you all. And also many thanks to Fiona Macdonald the editor of Metro Commuter - she does read the blog and I've given her column some mixed reviews in the past, but it appears she's taken it all in good spirit and finds it amusing.







Tube Haikus



Also on the Metro Commuter page, following the special Metro did for National Poetry Day, they've been "inundated with shining examples of commuter verse". Here's a few of my favourites:



Damn the Circle line

Counting minutes ticking by

Killing life's lost time.



I'm offered her seat

but reject her kind insult

This journey's aged me



The train is filling

Why does your bag need a seat?

I am getting stressed.



More haikus are welcomed at commuter@ukmetro.co.uk.

Elephant & Waterloo

I go through Waterloo several times a week - but not often going down onto the Jubilee line, so it's taken me a while to spot this - anyone know why there is an elephant here? Just wondered.











And back to Notting Hill Gate - where everything happens - including misleading information from LU. Take the display board on the southbound platform for the District & Circle lines. It lies - blatantly!



When I was waiting there the other day to go to Wimbledon, I noticed that it scrolls the message "For Kensington Olympia change at Earl's Court" it says - which, if you think about it could mean that you'd let a circle line train pass, wait for the District one, change at Earl's Court, then change and wait for the Olympia one.











But Olympia trains start at High St. Ken (the next stop down), so surely it would be quicker sometimes to take a Circle (if one came first) and change at High St. Ken?



And it was for me that day! I got the Circle (within 1 minute) ran over to platform 3 and got the Olympia train within a minute, and then changed at Earl's Court and got a train down to Wimbledon which had come down from Upminster - quicker than If I'd of waiting for the Wimbledon train at Notting Hill ... surely?



Finally, a quick abuse of my privileges here as I request something to you all - I need to find a location to take a photo of one of those colourful iPod posters - at a tube station. There was one at Latimer Road the other week, but by the time I'd got back there with my camera it had gone - so can anyone think/tell me of a place that they've seen recently where a tube train & iPod advert combine? Please let me know in the comments ...

Notting Hill : Where everything happens

Ok, now I normally dislike posts that don't have a picture to go with them - but today I totally forget to bring my camera with me (normally have it in my pocket all the time), so did not get the chance to take a picture of any of things that I'm about to talk about! Grrrr.



I was down Notting Hill Gate this afternoon, where a funny thing happened.



Actually the point is that within the space of about 2 minutes, loads of 'typical' funny tube things happened.



Firstly, as I approach the gates, the left-handed woman in front of me does that trick where she puts her ticket in, and the gates to the side of where she's standing open up and she's all confused until I point out to her what she's done.



Secondly, just a couple of seconds later as I go through the gates behind her - a complete t*sser follows me through the barriers on my ticket, and runs off down the stairs!



Thirdly - as I get to the bottom of the steps there is a guy with a megaphone (except he's not actually using it) saying "Jesus is coming back sooner than you think!", and is handing out leaflets to people as they get to the bottom, inlcuding the LU cleaner who takes one and starts to read it!



Fourthly - I run and jump on a train that is pulling in, and as I do so, a confused tourist is saying "This train Ealing Broadway?", and everyone ignores her, so she repeats herself a couple of times until the guy nearest the door says "Naaah love - West Ruislip innit".



Fifthly - as the doors are closing, a suited type run and squeezes onto the train. Then the electronic announcer says "This train is for .. West Ruislip", at which point he looks all annoyed and looks up at the line map. "He's going the wrong way!" I think, and sure enough at Holland Park, he gets out and crosses over to the eastbound platform.



Ticket problems, doubling up, preachers, tourists and going the wrong way all in the space of two minutes! And that's why I love the tube.



I've got another Notting Hill ramble to do - about how LU complete misinform you to your possible detriment - but I'll save it until I've got my camera and can take a picture of what I want to talk about. Probably tomorrow. Until then ...

Hammersmith seats

Most confusion for tourists



Just in case you don't read all the comments on the entries (shame on you), you might have missed the fab picture that Makali took of a seat at Glamoursmith (Hammersmith)







His friend and fellow blogger Bruce tells the story of the "creative vandalism" and is amazed that two of the people with him sat down without spotting it first of all.



It rox! Many thanks Bruce for drawing our attention to it.

Has living in London corrupted you?

London Quiz



Capital FM launched one of those "you know you're a Londoner when...", "how much of a Londoner are you?" type quizzes today - Capitalconfessions.



This one's rather titillating (for want of a better word), but includes a few tube related questions to work out just how much of a corrupt Londoner you are:



Have you ever taken a train without a valid ticket?



Have you ever?

Given a travelcard to a ticket tout

Bought a travelcard from a ticket tout

Been a travelcard ticket tout



Ever been sick:

In the back of a cab

In your handbag / briefcase

In a tube station

On a moving tube train



Ever got the first tube home from a night out?



Which of these sounds the rudest?

Going down the Old Kent Road

Hanging out on the New Kings Road

Being taken round the M25 to Feltham

Heading south of the river after midnight

Switching to the Bank Branch of the Northern Line

Riding the DLR to Mudchute



I was 31% corrupt which I think is quite good going considering I've lived in and around London for all of my life, it's not corrupted me that much. Although I've travelled a lot without a valid ticket, I've never bought or sold to a ticket tout. Never got the first tube home. Also never thrown up on a moving tube train or in my handbag or the back of a cab.

Random mutterings

I haven't posted for a while have I? ("Hurrah!" I hear you cry").



In amongst trying to find somewhere to live, attending film premieres and gala luncheons in my capacity as a celebrity and what with it being end-of-year time at work I've been quite worn out.



I regularly catch a train from Charing Cross to either New Cross or Lewisham to get home from town but yesterday I was somewhat bemused to look out of the window just after leaving Waterloo East to see that we were going round the connecting loop to Cannon Street. At first I thought some dopey signalman had set the points wrong but the driver then came over the PA to tell us that due to engineering works at London Bridge station we had to go into Cannon Street where he would change ends and then drive us back out to London Bridge. The pointwork just west of London Bridge station prevents trains from crossing over from the "middle" tracks to the "left hand" tracks (platforms 1 and 2) if you're coming from Charing Cross, thus the slight detour into Cannon Street.



I wouldn't have minded except I was now at the very front of the train instead of the very back so I had to walk all the way through it to be in the right place for the change to the DLR at Lewisham. Tut.



Anyway, Geoff sent me some pictures this morning of us tooling around at Canary Wharf station (he doesn't often go out there so it was like being a tourist for him) and here's one of us looking into the camera for no reason whatsoever. This picture was taken a few hours after we'd done the running-off-the-train-in-a-convincing-way-for-the-cameras photoshoot at High Street Kensington.

Bloggers End of Year Party

First signs of Xmas



OMIGOD - you know it's getting near to festivities when people start talking about arranging Christmas parties and parts of the UK blogging community are starting to do that now. Rich Wild from funjunkie.co.uk organised last year's (if you want to see comments from fellow partygoers) and I was SOOOOOO in two minds about going to it. But in the end I did and had a fab time. So if you want to meet other bloggers in the flesh rather than cyberspace pop along this this page and express your interest, no date has been set yet but it's likely to be late November/early December. Doesn't matter how long you've had your blog for As Rich said if you could pimp or mention it on your blogs that would be fab too.



Second sign of Xmas



On Monday I saw the infamous Santa having slash poster on a tube carriage







(Adopting Noddy Holder scream) It's CRRRRISSSSSSMAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSS

Distances between stations tube map - UPDATE

Ask and someone will come up with it



Amazing - only after putting this request out a couple of days ago, Ian Dolby has spent a few hours with the tube map and Clive's distances between stations to bring an excellent and handy map which shows how far tube stations are from each other.







So coupled with the map that shows walkways between stations and the geographical Tube map you'll have a good idea whether you should just leg it between stops rather than taking the tube, or if you just want to see how far you've covered going from Cockfosters to Clapham South.



Cheers Ian - it's brill. Hopefully, we won't get aksed by the powers that be at the LU to take this down (see what happened to the South London Tube Map - well spotted Diamond Geezer) as it's not actually manipulating the map.

London Transport Haiku Returns

Metro published more commuter's haiku(s) (does haiku have a plural?) this morning. There was a very clever one about blackberries and comparing the bluetooth ones with the more familar fruit variety.



Sorry I can't remember it and I left my Metro behind as I was running late for a meeting.



I'd love to know how many entries they actually get for things like this, they were on a bit of a roll when they asked for entries last year.



But if you're in the mood to see a whole collection of haiku that are just tube related this page is great.



I particularly like:



Pumpin' drum-n-bass

MiniDisc? Shut the fuck up!

Tinnitus be mine



and



Ignorant lardarse

Let me get off the tube now

Or I will kick you

Distances between stations map???

Map week



Harry Beck on TV last night. Me and Will Dyke were at the Ken Garland lecture on Harry Beck and the map last night too, and although in a church hall it was actually interesting. It was back at my old stomping ground of Kew and run by the Kew Society, so it had many active Kew residents who had actually campaigned to get the North London Link included on the tube map (I believe this is the only mainline route showing on the tube map, even though Beck suggested more could be added).







Even Beck did his own spoof tube map (above from the book Mr Beck's Underground Map). Ken Garland thought it was pretty hilarious but I think it helps to know your way around electrical circuits diagrams, which he based the Tube map on.



Just had an interesting question by email though which someone may know the answer to: Richard Durkan would like to know where he can get hold of a map which shows the mileage between the different tube stations.



I don't think one exists - there's lots of debates about geographically correct tube maps and I've seen a map that shows walkways between tube stations - but distances??



Incidentally, one of the most interesting things I learnt in last night's lecture is that Transport for London are commissioning a London Bus Map and are looking to invest over �50 grand in the design. Makes poor old Beck's initial twenty guineas (a few hundred quid at the time) for his map pretty damn paltry.

Map Mania

Harry Beck Night



Weird timing - I'm probably going to see Ken Garland who wrote a book about Harry Beck, creator of the Tube map, give a talk in Kew tonight and on BBC2 at about the same time (7.30pm) there's a whole programme on him



"Modern explorer Nicholas Crane travels across eight maps that changed the face of Britain in a series of geographical challenges through some of today's wildest landscapes, telling the story of British mapmaking from the time of Chaucer through to the current generation of cyber-mappers. Inspired by a circuit board diagram, Harry Beck designed the London Underground Map, which has become an icon of London."







Loving the Punch Cartoon which shows what a the tube map used to look like and how "simple" it was to understand. According to Jill Britton, who found this cartoon - "PUNCH's cartoons regularly reflected the anxieties and spectacle of travelling by "Tube".



Also Mark Ovenden got in touch with me yesterday after reading my BBCi article on the history of the tube map. Mark wrote Metro Maps of The World and he is featured briefly on tonight's programme where Beck's map is compared to other subway maps.



Geoff n Neil are still muttering about coming to the talk in Kew with me, that's if they're not too busy signing autographs and basking in their publicity over the last few days.

One Stop Short of Barking on TV

London Tonight Feature



I don't quite know how she's not sent me the recording straight away but on Friday, Mecca's book about the tube - One Stop Short of Barking - which I ably worked on, was featured on TV on London Tonight at 6pm and also previewed on the 3pm version London Today. I've got a copy of the video now which features a short interview with Mecca and Geoff has promised to work out a way of getting it streamed for the web. But in the meantime you can hear a recording of the afternoon feature here - this doesn't have Mecca's dulcet tones on it, but gives you a good idea of the way the book was covered.



See, Geoff n Neil, you're not the only media whores in town.

Neil n Geoff in the news

Record breaking duo in the Standard



I know that they're such shy and retiring shrinking violets who never court publicity, so I'll blog this for them. My co-bloggers have made it to page 19 of today's Evening Standard with their record breaking tube challenge.



I love the last paragraph "Mr Marshall will not reveal the route in order to protect the record. But it began at 5.29am in Amersham on the Metropolitan line and ended at 12.05am at Upminster on the District line. Ironically, after their mission they missed the last Tube home and had to take a mini-cab."



Well done Messers Marshall and Blake - you'll be on Newsnight next.



UPDATE



Not quite Newsnight but Geoff is going to be on the radio later not once, but twice - LBC at 6.20pm and BBC London at 6.40pm. Both have live streams. Wot a media whore.

New tube map front cover

Combination of art history, design and collective memory



I could never be an art critic or an artist for that matter. Reading Metro yesterday I discovered that the new pocket tube map which is printed in millions has a commissioned cover design.







It's a target made up with colours of the Tube lines, which is fine, colourful and bold - but is it really (as the arty press release would have us believe) "deceptive in its apparent simplicity with its own identity inextricably linked with that of London Underground" and does it "playfully combines the Tube line colours with art historical references, graphic design and our collective memory"?



Our collective memory of what? It's just our collective memory of tube line colours, as it "prompts a double-take as we work out why it seems so familiar".



The press release continues with this memory of tube line lark and I'm afraid it's just a bit too arsey, sorry, arty: "Emma Kay is interested in how objective facts and figures are subjected to the eccentricities of our memories. 'You Are in London' (the title of the piece) is Kay's own memory audit of the tube line colours. Combining a popular symbol with a familiar set of colours she lays claim to both."



Why not get a bit more surreal though? If something was to represent our collective memory of the Tube, I think it would have to be a bit out of focus (not just representing drunken nights on the underground). Pulling on my arty goatee beard I'd envisage something that combines speed with the dichotomy of a private company looking after a public service. Something which merges inner turmoil and ennui with the discordant echoes of Munch's The Scream. Something where Victorian values mingle unhappily with a 21st century phenomena struggling phoenix-like through a mire of bureaucracy, politics and public opinion.



Sorry, I had a bit of a Sister Wendy Beckett moment there. But if you had to artistically visualise the Tube, how would you do it?

Tubebacca

Loving this picture



I know it's from last week's Metro and I should have blogged it earlier, but I just love the nonchalant way he's sitting with his copy of Metro

Just seconds out

Apologies as I'm going to be all 'Neil' sounding here, and divulge with you some of my daily travelling dilemma.



I got to Victoria this morning (already running late thanks to a cancelled South West Trains service which would have normally taken me into Waterloo) at 09.48



I work at White City/Shepherd's Bush - I don't mind which station I get to as they're both damn close to Auntie Beeb herself.



So what would be the quickest way from Victoria? Up to the Central line on the Victoria and then head west? Wait for a Circle line train and go round to Notting Hill and then head west? Or perhaps get a District to Hammersmith, and then change to the H&C and go north a couple of stops?



[FX: Adopts geordie accents - What would you do? You decide! ]



Sorry, I came over all Big Brother there for a moment.



Well in the end, I opted for the District/Circle platform figuring I would just take whatever came first. That turned out to be an Ealing Broadway train which was already on the platform as I got it. Now sadly enough I happen to know the exact times of the H&C trains out of Hammersmith at this time of the morning. They're at 10.04, 10.12, 10.20 etc.. 8 minutes apart - and so I'm doing rough mental calculations in my head, and I figure that I should be able to make the 10.12 with a couple of minutes to change - providing I run all the way and avoid getting run over at the crossing of Hammersmith's one way system.



Except - of course - just after leaving Gloucester Road, the driver cheerfully announced that his line controller had informed him that the train was now going to Wimbledon instead. "Aggh" I thought - if he'd of announced that a station back, I would of got out and got the Circle line train that was 3 minutes behind.



Instead I get out and wait on the platform at Earl's Court for the next District train to come through which is an Ealing Broadway one and will take me to Hammersmith. But it's only then that I realise that the smart thing to have done would have been to dash down to the Piccadilly line platforms and get to Hammersmith that way - more quickly as the trains don't stop at West Kensington! And I'm supposed to be the bloody tube expert around here!



The result? Well I hardly need to tell you, do I - because you know what's coming. I get to Hammersmith at 10.10 and a few seconds. I jump out - sprint up the steps in my big coat and work bag (not easy), and see my life almost flash before my eyes as I race across the crossing just as the the traffic starts to move, run into the H&C line station .. I can see the 10.12 waiting to leave! The signal is on green! I slide my ticket into the barrier (I live outside Zone 6, so no 'Oyster' for me...) through the barrier .. run towards the train ... just as the doors 'beep' and the doors close as I'm a few metres away ... Aaaagh!



I look at station clock and my watch. They're the same - it's 10.11 and 57 seconds.



Who says that the tube never runs to time?

Tubelation !

Is it right to talk up your own achievments? I'm not convinced that it is actually, so I did ask Annie to do this on behalf of myself and Neil, but she's not within internet-range all day and so I find myself having to talk ourselves up. What am I talking about ? ... This of course:











Yup.. they finally got back to us, with confirmation our last attempt to break the world record. God bless them at Guinness. When I rang them two weeks ago to ask how it was going (and mention it was a shame that we'd missed out on the 50th anniversarry book that's just come out) then told me that 'They still hadn't looked at my claim yet' (Three+ months after I'd submitted it), but it now had 'high priority'.



High enough eventually, for me to be woken by my girlfriend this morning from my slumber with the words "Somethings just turned up in post that I you're going to want to see", and passed me a sturdy envelope which I quickly ripped open to find inside ...











So there you have it. We are official. 18 hours, 35 minutes and 43 seconds. Now for us to get our grinning mugs in ' Metro' I think ... :-)

From Edgeware to Amersham

And that's not a typo! It's deliberate.



I myself (as recommended by Annie) was reading her book of the moment (see below) of "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night" last night - in bed, and noticed that typo which every good writer about the tube makes once in a while. Yup - on the map plan of the Bakerloo line (towards the back of the book, he says without trying to give too much of the story away) they'd written 'Edgware Road' as 'Edgeware Road' by mistake. Tsk! Very shoddy.



Edgware Road, or even Edgware is not a place that exists in the Meaning of Liff though. This is a classic book that did the rounds a good 10 to 15 years ago, (and was quite funny then, but I'm not so sure about now) and was a dictionary of definitions for things which previously didn't have a word.



My favourite? A "Huby" - "An erection large enough to be a publically embarassing bulge in the trousers, but not large enough to be of use to anybody". You get the idea.



Anyway, a lot of the defintions are named after place names in the UK, and whilst browsing through the index, I couldn't fail to spot 'Amersham', which is listed as:



Amersham - "Is the sneeze which tickles, but never comes. (Thought to derive from the Metropolitan line tube station of the same name, where the rails always rattle but the train never arrives)."



Intruiged? You can download and have a look at it here.

What were you doing last January?

Snow Fun



You know Metro run lots of small ads from the BBC and other television companies asking if people have had bad experiences with builders or banks or Brazillian waxers and want to appear on TV. Well, we have an appeal through Jag as a TV company (Brook Lapping) are currently working on a "Cutting Edge" programme about how London ground to halt last January (30th Jan 2003, that is) because we had four centimetres of snow. I remember the date well as I broke my leg in two places the following day by falling on some ice outside a railway station.



It took Jag (from Route79 blog) 9 hours to get home and he chronicled his nightmare journey including letters to all manner of people on his site. He will be appearing on the Channel 4 programme and said: "the folks from Brook Lapping have indicated that they might "hire" some underground trains at night for use in filming a psuedo-reconstruction of my journey home! I haven't been given any details other than to prepare to take part in some "overnight" filming!"



Jag and the production company will be popping by from time to time so post any nightmare stories of how you got home that night - whether by tube, train or car - here.

Date for some diaries

Harry Beck Map author talks at Kew



At the risk of sounding like someone from the Women's Institute or the Vicar of Dibley, I'm going to post some news of a talk that's being held in a church hall. Next Thursday - 30th September 7.30pm for 8pm - Ken Garland, the guy who wrote "Mr Beck's Underground Map", will be talking about the creator of the Tube map, the Tube map as well (and his book - I imagine) at The Barn Church in Kew. For a modest two quid you get a glass of wine or a soft drink too. I don't know whether they're selling tickets on the night, but you can get them in advance by sending a cheque made payable to "The Kew Society" to Stephen Enthoven, Flora House, 81 Kew Green, Richmond, Surrey, TW9 3AH - don't forget to enclose an SAE.







Many thanks to Will Dyke for alerting me to this.



As Kew is a stone's throw from where I live I'll try to pop along myself too.

That was just terrible

Well, now I know what it's like to be a contestant on Pop Idol.



I failed. Yep - nil points, nothing, nada, chuff. But I didn't run out of the room crying to Ant and Dec saying "I really really wanted this" in a Geordie accent.



"Regrettfully," I have been "unsuccessful on this occasion" in my attempt to get a job at LU, which has REALLY surprised me because I thought I'd done quite well in each of the four elements of the assessment day.



I don't know exactly why yet because they are going to write to me and tell me where it all went wrong. You're only told yes or no on the day, not why. We were told that even if you do badly in one element you can recover it in the other three so I either failed abysmally at something in their eyes or I was rubbish in all four and I KNOW I answered all the numeracy questions correctly and I'm sure my handwriting wasn't THAT messy. I'm of the opinion it was probably the role play because at the interview (stage four) I answered all the questions very fully and the interviewer was scribbling furiously as I spoke!



And when I do find out I probably won't tell you because I have some pride left you know!



So, if I still really want to work for LU in that particular post, I have to wait one year before I can apply again. I'll be back (and I'll know what to expect next time unless they radically change their assessment procedure).



Anyone got a job?

Gloomy Friday Tube Haiku

Revellers beware

New Year may be a wash out

Bobby Law killjoy

Here we go again.

Who's the goat then?

Fare's fair? (sorry a pun worthy of Geoff)



In the Standard last night and in Metro this morning it was announced that we're going to face above inflation fare rises on the Tube and buses. This is despite a certain person claiming that fares would be fixed at the rate of inflation for the next four years.



Lynne Featherstone chairman of the London Assembly's transport committee (we like Lynnne she replied to my small campaign about security issues last year) said:



"The failure to tackle the transport funding black hole shows that leaving XXXXX to manage a budget is like leaving a goat to tend the cabbages".



Nice one Lynne, and no real prizes for guessing who XXXXX is.